straightshooter | unnamed } { why does the heart still resist

The sedan pulls up to the front of the small, nondescript apartment building, and the SHIELD agent in the front seat glances back to her through the rearview mirror. He doesn't push - she appreciates that about him. Not that he could understand how she's feeling, being transported through time while SHIELD was testing their newest toy isn't exactly something every agent goes through. But he still affords her the respect of her now emeritus title, which is more comforting to her than she could say. It isn't enough to make her get out of the car though.

"This is it, Director Carter."

She glances from the file in her lap to the building again. Then she exhales slowly, maintaining her composure as she reaches for the door handle. "Of course. Thank you, agent." She starts to get out of the car, hesitating as her shoe touches the gravel. Then she turns back to the driver. "Just in case ... "

"I'll wait for thirty minutes." He glances back over his shoulder and gives her a small smile. "But for what it's worth, ma'am? I don't think that will be a problem."

She smiles slightly at that, giving a small nod of thanks before climbing out of the car. She adjusts her clothing carefully, before striding her away into the SHIELD monitored building. Director Fury had given her all the proper clearances, so the first and only time she's actually stopped is when she's staring at Steve's front door.

Peggy Carter has never considered herself to be an anxious woman. She's always prided herself on having a very firm grip on her emotions, and if there is one that has ever managed to get out of hand it's her temper, not her nerves. But standing in front of the door of the man she longed believed was dead and gone forever, ready to see him again when he possibly believes the same of her, and she finds herself returning to the state of a flustered school girl, waiting for her first date.

And in a way, it is. They never got that dance.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she raises her hand and knocks lightly on the door.There's a sad, small part of her that almost wishes he isn't here. But the large, overpowering part of her needs to see him, more than anything else.

The worst he can do is send her away.

(If he does, she doesn't know how she will take it.)

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She shakes her head, touched by his concern even though she shouldn't really be surprised. "I didn't even realize it was happening. One moment I was in my office, the next I was ... here." It's still slightly disorienting, but she's adjusting. It's easier considering he's here.

Steve slowly exhales. He's relieved they didn't hurt her if nothing else. He squeezes her hand and nods. He's satisfied with the answer since there's never any doubt she's telling the truth. "Thank God. I don't know what I would have done..." He shakes his head. In all honesty, it would not have been much more than giving the scare of a lifetime to the scientists working at SHIELD. He's not the kind of man who let's his temper get the best of him. That wouldn't have lessened his anger or pain though.

He's lost so much. The thought of her being in pain is too much even if there's never any doubt she can handle it. That's not the way it turned out so his mind turns to other matters.

There's so much unsaid between them. When he looks at Peggy, Steve just wants to spill it all, kiss her, and give her a thousand reasons why she should stay here with him even if the chance to go back made itself available. He restrains himself, but not by much. "... I missed you so much, Peggy. I've thought about you every day since I woke up here. I still... my feelings haven't changed."

He stops there and waits. He won't go any further unless she gives him reason to. Just because he's stuck in the past doesn't mean she has to be. Margaret Carter is beautiful, strong, smart, and basically everything anyone could ever desire in a person. He wouldn't blame her for moving on.

It doesn't take her long to process it really. She's been thinking about it as soon as she understood what was happening. She's not his handler anymore. She thought about him every day, allotted every resource to trying to find him, to at least lay him to rest properly. Finding out he's been alive all this time was startling and only brought about more guilt that she wasn't able to find him at the time.

But that doesn't really matter. He's sitting there, telling her that seventy years later he still has feelings for her, and all of the reasons why not are gone. It's not a matter of politics or respect. it's not the complications of being responsible for him. She's already moving across the couch to kiss him, one hand coming to rest against the side of his face to pull him closer.

They've waited seventy years. They've waited long enough.

This really wasn't going to have ended any other way.

If Steve could honestly examine the situation without putting himself down, he would realize that this is what should have happened from the moment he opened that door. Peggy being here now changes everything. All the things that held them back were gone. The only thing standing in the way was themselves. Peggy had taken care of that, hadn't she?

The solider is only briefly stunned that she's kissed him before he eagerly returns it. A hand goes to cup the side of her face before settling against the back of her head. (Her hair is soft as he imagined it would be during the brief moments he let his mind wander enough to imagine such a thing. Steve tries to be respectful even while daydreaming.) He's not experienced by any means still, but things click with Peggy as they always do. It's as easy as getting lost in the moment. That is something Steve is happy to do in this instance.

Experience is never something she's worried about, nor has allowed herself to think about, really. She doesn't know how long he's been here, how much he's moved on or tried to connect with people from this timeline, because that doesn't really matter. They're questions she doesn't want to ask, nor does she really care.

She just wants to stay here, kissing him, and whatever happens, happens, she's just happy to be here. She leans into his touch, settling close to him and just soaking in the moment.

If Steve could he would stay in this moment forever. It's safe, real, and it's what he's wanted for so long. That's why he lets it last as long as he does. Minutes pass just kissing her and forgetting there was ever a reason not to do so before self-sabotaging logic starts to creep in. He parts from her reluctantly though not far. One hand still rests in her hair, toying with a curl absently while the other rests on her arm. He smiles and tries not to think about the fact he can't remember the last time he did so naturally.

"You know I haven't actually kissed someone since 1945. I don't think I ever want to stop." It's a gentle dig at himself, a joke to ease the tension for him before he can get to the point. "What do you want, Peggy? Is this-?" The smile fades and he meets her gaze with a troubled look on his face. It hasn't occurred him yet that SHIELD has a very good reason to keep their co-founder from returning. The fact that he's destined to lose her and everyone else that ever mattered to him has become an undeniable part of his life.

"Will this just make it harder for you later? I can take this being it for us, but not at your expense."

Peggy understands what he's trying to do. It's not hard to see that he's simply looking out for her and the uncertainty of where they currently stand. It's a natural consideration and there's a part of him that's grateful to him for making it, but at the same time, she doesn't particularly care.

"Don't you dare stop," she says, giving him a rather pointed look. "In fact, if you try to pull back for my own good, I may shoot you."

Do not test her on this, Steve, you know how good a shot she is.

Oh he remembers. It's funny how dealing with a world that has aliens and fake gods doesn't strike fear in his heart. The second anyone reminds him how good Peggy Carter is at shooting especially at him sends a chill down his spine. She certainly made an impression all those years ago. "You brought a gun to...." You know what? He doesn't even care.

Steve simply shakes his head in disbelief and smiles. She's here and threatening him, but that's okay. That's better than okay actually. Peggy, unsurprisingly, wins the fight. He leans back over and kisses her again. He definitely won't be stopping again anytime soon.

She doesn't even bother to answer the question, because Steve. Of course she has a gun. She's Peggy Carter and you're Captain America, who knows what could come through that door at any time. But that's not important, the important part is that you keep kissing her.

A lot.

If the Director calls him for a mission, she'll shoot him.

unnamed } { why does the heart still resist

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